300 WORDS ON MEN AND WOMEN

How they work
Women are like a fine-tuned precision tool – like a metrometer or a barometric gauge. There are many working parts which must be kept in working order. They must be calibrated.

Men are like hammers. We’re blunt-ended and our purpose is quite evident. We can be used for any number of jobs, as long as they involve force or destruction.

If a man can’t successfully calibrate a woman, she probably won’t tell him. He should be able to figure it out. If he doesn’t she’ll use a blunt-ended instrument to calibrate herself.

Sense of smell
Women have a keen sense of smell. They can tell you which fragrance another woman is wearing from several yards away. A woman’s nose is like that of a bloodhound – arrive home 45 minutes late and she can tell by the scent of cigar smoke that you stopped at the bar.

Men rarely rely on smell, other than to compare farts with their buddies. A man uses his nose as a last resort to fend off unpleasantness, but little else. Men sniff a plate of leftovers to determine the source of the pungent odor, but scarf the food down anyway.

Observation
Women observe, they notice things. “Carrie, those new shoes are so cute and they match your belt precisely!” is a phrase that doesn’t have a male equivalent. Greg is never going to compliment Mark on his new hairdo. Ever.

Vacations and anniversaries
Men want to go to exotic faraway places to celebrate anniversaries and consume things while there. A trip to the Bahamas to get drunk, that’s a dude’s idea of an anniversary vacation.

Women would like to share an experience with their man to celebrate milestones. Or they can handle a quiet night with something to remind them of their first chance encounter with their man.

Men don’t remember that first chance encounter.

Night life
Women like to go out with their girl friends just to have a girl’s night out. They aren’t “on” and don’t want to meet a guy. Men, if they are in a group larger than one, are hunting for women, even if it’s just to “tag” them.